Forget the Super Bowl. Forget the Oscars. The honor that means more than anything in America is being crowned the best Girl Scout cookie variety.
Every year, you track down the Girl Scouts in your area, praying that they have enough Thin Mints or Samoas in stock to tide you over for the year. Rah-Rah Raisins just won't do. They will never do.
The Girl Scout cookie varieties haven't changed much over the years since the Girl Scouts first started selling cookies as early as 1917. In fact, the Peanut Butter Sandwich, Shortbread and Chocolate Mints, now called Thin Mints, have been available since 1951. However, this year the Girl Scouts introduced three new varieties: Toffee-tastic, Trios and Rah-Rah Raisins.
Along with those three new flavors, the Girl Scouts will be selling 9 of its staple varieties this season. But which one reigns supreme? In honor of National Girl Scout Cookie Weekend, which kicks off today, Feb. 27, here is a very important ranking of 2015's Girl Scout cookies, from worst to best.
12. Rah-Rah Raisins
At 120 calories per serving and featuring raisins, oatmeal and Greek yogurt in the recipe, Rah-Rah Raisins might be one of the healthier Girl Scout cookie options this year, but it is also one of the most disgusting, unless tart-tasting confections are your thing. It's like I always say: If you're doing dessert anyway, go chocolate or go home.
11. Cranberry Citrus Crisps
Again, fruit in a cookie? I'm not feeling it. Why would I go for something dry and chewy instead of fresh and hydrating with real fruit?
10. Lemonades
I'll give you props for tying in the thought of kids' lemonade stands with this cookie, Girl Scouts, but if I don't need to have the sensation of scrunching up my face and tears coming out of my eyes, I'll pass.
9. Savannah Smiles
These cookies are lemony too, but the name is cute. Plus, they're dusted in powdered sugar, which ups the tastiness and fanciness factors a smidge.
8. Shortbread/Trefoils
There's nothing wrong with a nice, basic shortbread cookie. There's nothing right about it either.
7. Thin Mints
I know, I know. I can already hear you screaming at your computer screen. While I know Thin Mints are one of the most popular kinds of Girl Scout cookies, I am not a huge fan of them. I like the chocolate, but the mint just rubs me the wrong way. It just reminds me of when the taste of something with a strong flavor still lingers after you brush your teeth, mixing with the mintiness. I'm gagging just thinking about it.
6. Toffee-tastic
Buttery cookies with toffee mixed in? Don't mind if I do, Toffee-tastic.
5. Do-si-dos/Peanut Butter Sandwich
Cripsy oatmeal with creamy peanut butter on the inside makes me want to square dance.
4. Thanks-A-Lot
These shortbread cookies are tricked out with fudge on the bottom, and they come embossed with "Thank You" written across the top in English, French, Spanish, Chinese and Swahili. I like that the name of this cookie, Thanks-A-Lot sounds kind of sassy too.
3. Trios
Is there any phrase more beautiful in the English language than "Chocolate Chips nestled in a gluten free peanut butter oatmeal cookie"? No there is not.
2. Caramel deLites/Samoas
Some people may call you Caramel deLites, but you will always be Samoas to me. These babies are rich, chocolatey, crunchy and unique. It doesn't get much better than that.
1. Peanut Butter Patties/Tagalongs
Peanut butter and chocolate is the best combination on Earth, hands down, so how could the other cookies even compete? Plus, isn't the name Tagalongs just delightful? There isn't anything about this cookie I don't like, except for the fact that I'm not eating them right now.
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