Alan Moore's Star Wars Episode V: 'Blind Fury!'
First it was revealed that Alan Moore wrote a series of Star Wars stories... Next, the writer (temporarily) killed Princess Leia! He followed with a tale starring Darth Vader, before giving droids C-3PO and R2-D2 the comic book treatment.
Wrapping up Moore’s venture into George Lucas' most celebrated creation is “Blind Fury!”, featuring the one and only Luke Skywalker!
First published in the pages of Marvel UK's Star Wars Monthly #159, we join a young Luke in the midst of intense training. But taking place in a story written by Alan Moore (with John Stokes again providing art), this is no typical workout—Skywalker is operating blind while battling through a fiery Hell (!), filled with all manner of flesh-suckling abominations!
His trusty X-Wing parked nearby, Luke receives an emergency transmission from (what sounds like) a woman. He hears the words ‘Garn’ and ‘Tower’, yet all other message content is devoured by pesky static.
In spite of the rescue mission's ambiguous shrouding, Luke heads off to the bleak planet known as Garn. Riddled with disease and all-round unpleasantness, it’s not exactly a choice destination for intergalactic jet-setters. The young Skywalker has heard stories of this place…none of ‘em good. Dare I say, a lesser hero’s underpants would soon fall foul to a severe soiling.
Luckily, Luke isn’t one to shirk a challenge, and promptly charges towards the ominous tower of interest. Once inside, an unidentified voice welcomes him to “the halls of his damnation,” an assortment of fierce, shadowy creatures affirming this declaration.
But Luke’s problems are only getting started: What appear to be armor-clad Jedi Knights are soon spotted, along with 'Soul Snares' capable of snagging one’s life force for all of eternity. The enigmatic host further explains the hero's predicament: Traced by lightsaber-detecting sensors and deceptively lured to this kingdom of peril, Luke is facing the resentful remains of RUH, High Shaman of the Terrible Glare. Ruh-roh!
Curiously, this clan of misfits was declared extinct waaaay back in the day, perishing at the hands (and weapons) of the Jedi. Turns out this guy’s mind has been encoded and conserved inside a computer, waiting patiently to enact his revolting revenge.
But the mechanism hosting Ruh’s psyche is clearly bereft of connection to the Interwebs—the drifting consciousness has no idea that a) the crusades in which he fought ended eons ago, and b) all Jedi have long since perished...Luke explains that his lightsaber was plucked from their last survivor. Not exactly the trusting type, Ruh conducts his own incarnation of a polygraph examination.
Unlike cheating partners averse to birth control and appearing on Maury's TV show, Luke passes the lie-detecting test with flying colors. Realizing his opportunity to personally dispose of the Jedi has long since passed, Ruh explodes into a shitfit of rage and fractures his tower into blazing hunks of fury. He then self-destructs, earning the award for “Most Devastating Tantrum Of All Time” in the process.
Gazing across the flaming ruins of the Shaman's ex-abode, Luke ponders the hatred and obsession that consumed every speck of Ruh’s (cyber) life. Does young Skywalker draw a parallel to his own single-minded quest? Or is his furrowed brow shaped by confusion and failure to yield a lesson from this incident-filled day?
Deep, thoughtful stuff. As if Alan Moore would have it any other way…
Thus concludes my chronicling of Alan Moore’s Star Wars! Now I must detect and excavate another forgotten/unknown/peculiar property from the caliginous chasm of comic book history…