A new study yielding obvious results based upon questionable intentions has concluded that a dangerous new affliction is spreading like wildfire among unassuming Americans — "digital amnesia." The study finds that, as we become more and more reliant on technology to remember things for us, we use our own memories less to store that information.

Chris Doggett, managing director of Kaspersky Lab North America, who conducted the study, claims: "Connected devices enrich our lives every day, but they have also caused the prevalence of Digital Amnesia in our country. As consumers, it is important for all of us to understand the long term implications of this effect, and why it reinforces the need for us to diligently protect our valuable information and precious memories."

The invention of the pen and paper presumably had a similar effect back in the day.

The researchers, who studied over 1,000 Americans age 16 and older, found that the syndrome affects all age groups equally, with almost half of the participants admitting that they have almost all of the information they need to know stored in their phone or on the Internet. The study also remarkably found that many of those people would feel very, very sad if their data was lost or compromised.

Actual experts claim that our brains are now wired to depend on the Internet simply because we can.

"We are beautifully adaptive creatures and we don't remember everything because it is not to our advantage to do so," says Dr. Kathryn Mills of UCL Institute of Cognitive Neuroscience in London.

"Forgetting becomes unhelpful when it involves losing information that we need to remember. One of the reasons consumers might be less worried about remembering information is because they have connected devices that they trust. In many societies, having access to the Internet feels as stable as having access to electricity or running water," Mills concluded.

So, who has the "cure" for this dubious new post-millennial affliction? Kapersky Laboratories, which specializes in Internet security and antivirus software, will be happy to make sure your valuable information is safe and protected from malware through the purchase and use of their products. As a reminder, Kapersky also just so happens to be the same company that conducted the study and invented "Digital Amnesia," the company's newfangled marketing term for very real, intentional and rational behavior, which used to be known simply as "forgetting stuff you don't need to remember."

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