'Super 3D Noah's Ark' Is A Bible-Themed 'Wolfenstein' And Can Be Bought On Steam


Way back in the day, 'Doom clones' were everywhere. Id Software had cracked the code on what made a first-person shooter fun, and seemingly every other developer in existence was trying to capitalize on Doom's success. Indeed, Doom was so successful, some studies suggest that it was more popular than Windows 95 — no, not a program on Windows 95, the Windows 95 operating system itself.

But then, during a time in the industry when Doom clones were running rampant, the religious development team over at Wisdom Tree decided to take a different route. After all, if everyone is copying the same game, the obvious solution is to simply copy some other game!

And thus Super 3D Noah's Ark was born. Originally, the game was an unlicensed conversion of Id Software's first shooter, Wolfenstein 3D... with a few minor changes. For instance, instead of gunning Nazis down en masse, players were feeding animals until they passed out. Instead of navigating Castle Wolfenstein, players were trapped within the strangely massive bowels of Noah's Ark!

If it sounds terrible, that's because it was... which, of course, means the game is now available on Steam.

It's hard to quantify just how bad Super 3D Noah's Ark is. Sure, it's a blatant rip-off of a far better game, but that's just scratching the surface. Noah was apparently a crack shot with a variety of different slingshots (including fully automatic ones), and Mecha-Hitler – who once served as the final boss of Wolfenstein 3D – has been replaced by a camel.

For comparison's sake, think of Super 3D Noah's Ark as the video game equivalent of The Room: it's bad, and you know it's bad, but you just have to see what's lying around the next corner.

Not that Wisdom Tree hasn't given the game some updates for its "grand" debut on Steam:

"It's been a long journey. In just a few days, the ark doors will open and Noah, his family & the animals will be back on dry land. But the animals have become a bit restless and are out of their cages. Camels, giraffes, monkeys, kangaroos and more are wandering throughout the corridors of the ark. As Noah, it's your job to regain order & get the animals to sleep until you leave the ark. Your only tool to accomplish this is the food you brought aboard the ark. Can it be done? You bet! But how?"

• 30 original levels.
• 6 feeders and 11 animal varieties.
• Fully featured in game map.
• Fully textured mapped environments.
• Fast moving adventure for all ages!

20th Anniversary Edition:
• Runs natively on modern operating systems.
• High resolution rendering.
• Improved, modern style controls.
• Option to play with SNES scale feeders.
• Steam Achievements and Cloud save.
• Digital manual with quiz guide.
• Includes original DOS port.
• DRM Free!

If you're some sort of masochist (or just have way too much money), you can grab Super 3D Noah's Ark on Steam right now.

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