Bedbugs are the original micro aggression. They're tiny evil warriors who know where you sleep and want to ruin your life. And now their genomes have been studied and published, showing they are highly adapted to destroying all that is good and holy.

Looking at the genome, published in two separate papers by Nature Communications, one can see that the bug's genes spend no time caring about silly stuff like sight and hearing - things we mammals adapted so we could survive in our environment. The bedbug doesn't need all that hogwash. He just sits in your bed and waits for you to appear, so he can suck the ever-loving blood out of you. His most important sense is smell, but because you are so close to him in the bed, even that doesn't have to be very strong.

According to one of the papers, blood is literally the only thing bedbugs eat. They don't even drink water, but get all their hydration from our veins. To break down all that blood, they have evolved special salivary glands that can clot blood in their mouths because they take in so much blood at a time. 

They are also highly incestuous, appearing "resistant to the effects of repeated rounds of inbreeding." And if that weren't disturbing enough, they have a high number of genes that make reslin, a protein that acts as a shield to protect the females from their incredibly violent mating process. As The Verge put it, "the male stabs a needle-like penis into the female's abdomen and ejaculates into her body cavity."

The little guys have also become extraordinarily resistant to insecticides, and it shows in their genetic makeup. Areas where insecticide has been used for a long time to control bedbugs have populations that are up to 10,000 times stronger than their relatives in other parts of the world. So, every time you fumigate your house, you are breeding super bedbugs that are virtually unkillable. On top of that, when a bug feeds on human blood, it becomes even stronger and better able to resist insecticides, leaving you in an infinite loop of bug hell. The EPA offers some tips and resources for those plagued by the critters.

You can find both papers at Nature Communications, here and here.  And until then, KILL THEM ALL, KILL THEM ALL, KILL THEM ALL.

Photo: U.S. Department of Agriculture | Flickr