Prepare yourself, this is shocking stuff. Keep the kids away, lest they be emotionally scarred.
We regret to report that the beloved Elf On the Shelf has gone bad. Like, Miley Cyrus bad. We don't know what happened. Did he not get what he wanted for Christmas? Was he dumped by his lady elf? Did he just get sick of sitting on that blasted shelf??
Here's what we know.
It started pretty innocently. Just your standard fake poop joke.
Elf on the shelf gone wild!! pic.twitter.com/ZL2QhamcQ3
— ♔Ꮿiabolica ℬlonde☠ (@LaRocketQueen) December 14, 2014
Then he made the mistake of hopping on Twitter for a bit. It filled his tiny little mind with all sorts of ideas.
Some people get very creative with the Elf on a Shelf: http://t.co/PM0GQOPebv pic.twitter.com/nvnoxkozds — Mashable (@mashable) December 20, 2014
Very quickly, it went from bad to worse.
So I got elf on the shelf from a coworker. This how is they started it. pic.twitter.com/4DygqsYKTP
— janice (@FrtGrl) December 23, 2014
We were heartened to find that he still has an appreciation for Christmas classics.
Chuck's Cousin Eddie came by to wish you all, "Merry Christmas.. Your shitter's full." pic.twitter.com/J1wdt6svKF — Lauren (@WriterOfWonder) December 20, 2014
But those warm fuzzies went away fast when the paparazzi caught a snap of his latest recreational habit.
— Jenna Troetti (@jenna_tROWetti) December 23, 2014
And we're pretty sure this is where he got it from.
15 funny times Elf On The Shelf made the naughty list - http://t.co/fONINIUJOM pic.twitter.com/xAHbuFlpzP — What The F*** Facts (@WhatTheFFacts) December 22, 2014
Things got really dark when he went to collect an old debt.
Once again, the impressionable Elf on the Shelf falls prey to Chuckie's evil ways... pic.twitter.com/JIg0QjsMN1 — Dale Elster (@DaleElster) December 15, 2014
We have no proof, but we believe he may have been inspired by DVDs of a certain Showtime series.
— Ryan Tauscher (@RyanTauscher) December 23, 2014
It seemed he had nowhere to go but down, but that's when he hit rock bottom.
This is what happens when I'm irritated and someone leaves an elf on the shelf at work. #elfonashelf pic.twitter.com/MWajQvXhDc — Airwrecka (@ericalee87) December 15, 2014
It's time for an intervention, before it's too late.
How funny is this picture. Poor Elf on the shelf. pic.twitter.com/aWXzRkUrAm
— DreamDots (@DreamDotsHQ) December 23, 2014
And if that fails...
The problem will be dealt with.
Oh and another hilarious Elf on the SHelf Idea I found - Prop a good idea we don't have one in our house pic.twitter.com/NJHqugWNnu — mountie9 (@mountie9) December 15, 2014