If you thought nothing could top Cards Against Humanity literally sending people holiday bullshit, you are sadly mistaken. The creators of the popular card game have purchased their own private, six-acre island and renamed it "Hawaii 2."
But don't worry, it gets better. The 250,000 customers who bought into the company's holiday promotional "Ten Days or Whatever of Kwanzaa" campaign are now the proud owners of exactly one square foot of Hawaii 2, which, in case your are wondering, is located in St. George Lake near Liberty, Maine.
Customers are now receiving their gifts in the form of a letter and legal contract that, when signed, allows Cards Against Humanity to license out part of the island to each of the 250,000 customers.
"A couple years ago, we made a joke that with the money we donated to the Wikimedia Foundation, we could have bought a small private island," the letter sent to Ten Days or Whatever of Kwanzaa participants reads. "That gave us an idea: to buy a small private island.
"We bought this island for two reasons. 1) Because it was funny, and 2) so we could give you a small piece of it. Also, 3) we're preserving a pristine bit of American wilderness."
Cards Against Humanity purchased the private and uninhabited island for approximately $200,000. They then sent photographer Brent Knepper to document their new island. You can check out some of the pictures he took here.
With each customer now owning one square foot of the island, and six acres being exactly 261,360 feet, that leaves roughly 11,000 feet for Cards Against Humanity to do whatever they want with. Judging from the company's activities so far, you can be sure they will put it to good (or hilarious) use.
"This square foot of land is yours to do what you want with, as long as you don't destroy it or break any laws on it," the letter reads. "We've enclosed a small flag you can plant to mark your territory."
The letter then goes on to list a number suggested activities perfect for Hawaii 2, including "father-son bonding", "lute practice" and "Henry David Thoreau."
Just be sure not to harm any of the trees, otherwise Cards Against Humanity "will curse your family for a thousand (1,000) generations."