Valve has a bit of a phobia when it comes to the number three. No matter what Valve franchise you are talking about, you won't find a third entry. Left 4 Dead 3? Nope. Half-Life 3? Don't hold your breathe. Portal 3? Ha!
But even though we haven't officially gotten a Portal 3, there have been a number of Portal related adventures to hold us over in the meantime. First was the Portal level for Lego Dimensions, and now it's the fantastic sounding Portal board game.
Officially (and appropriately) called Portal: The Uncooperative Cake Acquisition Game, players take on the role of various test subjects competing for the moist nirvana that is the perfect slice of cake. We will let the game's description speak for itself:
"The Lab is an ever-changing conveyor belt of death and dismemberment. But SCIENTIFIC PROGRESS must be at the forefront of the mind of every good Test Subject. In this game of constantly shifting area control and cardplay, players move and Portal their Test Subjects to various Chambers in the Lab. At the end of each player's turn, one of the Chambers on the end of the Lab gives way, plunging all Test Subjects on it into oblivion. But should your Test Subjects have numbered greater than all others in the falling Chamber, they earn you some wonderful parting gifts, which can include Cake."
That cake must be stored in the lab, and the team at the end of the game with the most cake wins. It sound simple, but players can actually steal their opponents cake. What kind of monster would steal a person's cake? You would. Probably. Or the cake can simply fall into the dark abyss below Aperture Laboratories, never to be eaten. That makes GLADOS very, very happy.
The game comes from the folks at Cryptozoic and is even designed by some of the same developers at Valve responsible for making Portal 1 and 2. Better yet, you get a free copy of Portal 2 with the purchase of the $50 board game, so there's really no excuse not to check it out. It's not quite Portal 3, but at this point, it might as well be.